The more I walk down this path, the more I don't want to walk anymore...
The more I walked, the more non-existent I become...
Somebody says is right...Friends come by and goes by...There is nothing to sad about...
People keep forgetting...
I maybe abnormal afterall...Scare of being alone...All the time...Guess that's why I insisting on finding a girlfriend...So that I have somebody to rely on...
Strange isn't it? Isn't suppose girl rely on boy? But I'm the opposite...I said before maybe I'm abnormal...
But seeing myself at the mirror, I can just tell myself give up...
Seeing my past, I just can't come out from the darkness of sins...
I don't know why my memories are not so good in study but so good in all those bad and sad memories...Are those punishment from all the sins from the past? If they are then I can tell that...Everyday in my life is HELL...
I don even know why I have WLM and Facebook or wateva social website...What ever I post...What ever I comment...What ever I said on my status...Nobody would ever bother to see...
WLM? Chat not even few words...I give up on chatting as I have nothing to said at all...
I start to wonder it'll make no diffrence even I delete all my accounts...But...Now I start to know why I havn't done that...As I want to know what friends are doing...
Are they fine? Or they have some trouble?
Stupid isn't it? I miss them so much...I care about them so much...Yet...Nobody would miss me...Other than my family...
I doubt that this year...Somebody's birthday is coming...And will I get invited again? 2 times already...If one more time I seriously don't know I can endure the pain of being forgotten by my primary school friends...Again...
I'm just all alone...I wish I don't have a heart...I don't need a heart...To just give me suffering...
I...Shouldn't exist at all isn't it? As whether I exist or not it won't make a diffirence in this world...The world will just fine without me...Or even better without me...
If I'm not exist at all...For sure...My parents, Grace, Su Yi, K, Wa, W, I and many other more people will more happy now...Coz I'm just a failure...
If before this the price for my good result is this, then what about now? My result have drop like...Still my life just worse...What else I will lose? Do U have to make me end my life so that I can get out of all this misery?
Once a girl that I hurt told me that she won't forget what I have done to her...But...Atleast they all just hate one person...But me have to endure the pain from everyone I have hurt...
I don't know how I can go on...I seriously don't have anymore confidence to go on...I don't even want to know what will happen in my future...As I doubt whether I can alive till the future...
I still can't find anyone I can talk with...In MMU...
Oh God...Can you even pity me on what I am now?
The more I walked, the more non-existent I become...
Somebody says is right...Friends come by and goes by...There is nothing to sad about...
People keep forgetting...
I maybe abnormal afterall...Scare of being alone...All the time...Guess that's why I insisting on finding a girlfriend...So that I have somebody to rely on...
Strange isn't it? Isn't suppose girl rely on boy? But I'm the opposite...I said before maybe I'm abnormal...
But seeing myself at the mirror, I can just tell myself give up...
Seeing my past, I just can't come out from the darkness of sins...
I don't know why my memories are not so good in study but so good in all those bad and sad memories...Are those punishment from all the sins from the past? If they are then I can tell that...Everyday in my life is HELL...
I don even know why I have WLM and Facebook or wateva social website...What ever I post...What ever I comment...What ever I said on my status...Nobody would ever bother to see...
WLM? Chat not even few words...I give up on chatting as I have nothing to said at all...
I start to wonder it'll make no diffrence even I delete all my accounts...But...Now I start to know why I havn't done that...As I want to know what friends are doing...
Are they fine? Or they have some trouble?
Stupid isn't it? I miss them so much...I care about them so much...Yet...Nobody would miss me...Other than my family...
I doubt that this year...Somebody's birthday is coming...And will I get invited again? 2 times already...If one more time I seriously don't know I can endure the pain of being forgotten by my primary school friends...Again...
I'm just all alone...I wish I don't have a heart...I don't need a heart...To just give me suffering...
I...Shouldn't exist at all isn't it? As whether I exist or not it won't make a diffirence in this world...The world will just fine without me...Or even better without me...
If I'm not exist at all...For sure...My parents, Grace, Su Yi, K, Wa, W, I and many other more people will more happy now...Coz I'm just a failure...
If before this the price for my good result is this, then what about now? My result have drop like...Still my life just worse...What else I will lose? Do U have to make me end my life so that I can get out of all this misery?
Once a girl that I hurt told me that she won't forget what I have done to her...But...Atleast they all just hate one person...But me have to endure the pain from everyone I have hurt...
I don't know how I can go on...I seriously don't have anymore confidence to go on...I don't even want to know what will happen in my future...As I doubt whether I can alive till the future...
I still can't find anyone I can talk with...In MMU...
Oh God...Can you even pity me on what I am now?
No comments:
Post a Comment